I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
