The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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