am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
