my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
