I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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