Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
