We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
