OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
