I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
