NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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