I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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