I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
