I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
