why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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