remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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