Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
