last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize