Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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