Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
