Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
