Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My friends, they love my intelligence
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
