It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize