Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
