I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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