did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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