giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
