A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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