Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
