Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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