I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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