Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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