My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
