We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
