Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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