i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
