Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
