Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
