Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize