p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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