my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
