Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
