Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize