SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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