I hope mine doesn't look like that
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
