So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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