I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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