Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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