pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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