I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
