Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.

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(206): View more from Washington

So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?

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(614): View more from Ohio

Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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(206): View more from Washington

So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...

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(217): View more from Illinois

getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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(+33): View more from France

It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!

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