and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize