i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
