ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
