It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You took a bar mat shot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
