No more Irish car bombs ever.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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