Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
