I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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