Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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