All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
