So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
