i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
