Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
