Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
